Screaming Blur
by bowtiekiss
Summary: Kurt had never made the Thanksgiving phone call. He never had closure with Blaine, so they never became friends again. They lost all communication. (eventually M)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Well as you may have noticed I deleted my big fic "21 years" because I got kinda bored with it and so this is just a one shot, but I am thinking about turning it into a multi-chapter fic. But just tell me if you want that. The song used in this fic in this fic is called You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol.**_

Kurt walked down the streets of Manhattan, bag slung over his shoulder with his phone pressed to his ear, "Yes, I will get you coffee now go back to bed, you have a fever and I will not be responsible if you get the flu again." He ran his hand up and down the strap of his old messanger, pulling it tighter onto his shoulder.

"But Kuuuuuuurt," Rachel whined back through the phone.

"No, Rachel Berry. You lay down right now, I do not want you sick again. I will be home in about thirty to forty-five minutes, now lay down."

"Ok, fine!"

"Thank you, sweet beautiful angel."

"Awww Kurt, you think I'm an angel?"

Kurt scoffed at his best friend's question, "Sarcasm, sweetie. Sarcasm," Kurt let out a huff, "look I'm almost to Starbucks now, I'll see you when I get home, love you." Kurt admitted before hanging up the phone, not giving rachel a chance to respond with something that will only continue the conversation.

Kurt walked to the front of Starbucks, stopping just before opening the door seeing a note that said 'CLOSED DUE TO INTERNAL CONSTRUCTION' Kurt sighed not knowing whether to just go back home or go somewhwere else. Well, he sure didn't want to have to here Rachel gripe even more so he decided to pick another shop. Morining Joy was all he could think of, which was only a couple of blocks over. He had never been to Morning Joy and had no clue how their coffee tasted, but he knew people who went so he figured it couldn't be too bad.

Kurt opened the door to the tiny little coffee shop to see the long line of customers lined up to get their morning beverages. _Great. _He thought cause now he'll have to here it from Rachel when he gets home because he wasn't back on time. Kurt approached the long line that looked to have eighteen to twenty people. He pulled his bag up again onto his shoulder, leaning over to look at all the people in line. This was going to take about thirty minutes alone just to get to the counter. Yep, he was definately going to hear it from Rachel when he gets home. Kurt stood up straight again looking at the stranger's head infront of his. Kurt started fidgeting with his hands just when his ears were distracted by a voice coming from the front of the sitting area.

_**"You could be happy and I won't know..."**_

Kurt knew that voice, of course he knew _that _voice, he would know it anywhere. He directed his attention towards the front of the little coffee shop, seeing exactly what he had expected to see.

_**"But you weren't happy the day I watched you go..."**_

Kurt's eyes scanned the man up and down, it was in fact Blaine Anderson. Except he was different, he didn't have a bowtie, or gelled hair, or a sweater vest, or rolled up jeans. He had on a white undershirt with a dark leather jacket around it, tight dark blue jeans hugged closely to his legs, and a head full of free curls. Was that in fact Blaine? Did Kurt actually remember him? Of course he remembered him, how could he not?

_**"All the things I wish I had not said..."**_

Kurt just watched him, not able to look away. It really was him. It was really Blaine Anderson, in New York City, singing in a coffee shop, with guitar in hand. Kurt squinted hard to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but of course he wasn't dreaming, he hadn't thought about Blaine in years, five years to be exact. He never forgot him, but he never dwelled on him. They had a bad and nasty break up, one where they - well, Kurt - had no intention of speaking to each other again.

_**"Played in loops til it's madness in my head..."**_

Kurt got really hurt. What Blaine had done was unacceptable and just down right horrible, because Blaine was suppose to love him. He was suppose to love Kurt, and then he threw it all away just for one hook up cause he was lonely. That was the worst era of Kurt's life. A year of nothing but missed calls and text messages, new phone numbers, and tears. Lots and lots of tears.

_**"Is too late to remind you how we were..."**_

But not everything was bad. Blaine and Kurt were at love at some point. Blaine did love Kurt and Kurt did love Blaine. A month and a half into Kurt's junior year, is when everything and anything had to do with Blaine. Blaine was his whole world. They shared kisses during glee, and held hands the first couple weeks at Dalton. Or when they lost virginity, which was probably the strongest point in their relationship, a couple months after that things got hard. And then more months passed with a couple fights and then Eli happened, and that was it.

_**"Not our last says of silence, screaming, blur..."**_

That day Blaine visted New York was one of the worst days of his life. Blaine had cheated, and not just a kiss, not just a hand hold, he hooked up with a random guy. Kurt had never felt more hurt or betrayed in his life. He felt like the only person in this world who loved him, _all of him_, had betrayed him and nothing made sense after that. They did see each other one more time, when Blaine was in Grease for the school musical. Kurt wanted to go for closure but he couldn't do it, he couldn't look at this boy who used to mean more than anything to him and now, he was just there. Just like every other human being. Kurt didn't trust him, and that was enough to cut off contact all together.

_**"Most of what I remember makes me sure. I should've stopped you from walking out that door..."**_

When Kurt left Mckinley that was the last time he had heard from Blaine. There was always a missed call or an ignored text messages before, but then there was nothing. Kurt decided there could be a chance that Blaine would text or call again someday, so he changed numbers and deleted Blaine's number from his phone with no hesitation.

_**"You could be happy, I hope you are. You'd made me happier than I've been by far..."**_

After that, there was a year of nothing but slow work days, chocolate, tears, and never ending sadness. About three months after contact had been cut off, Kurt was diagnosed with depression, and would take sick days off of work. Things stayed bad for another two months, when the depression was gone things got a little better but the heart ache was still there.

_**"Somehow everything I own smells of you..."**_

Kurt tried to forget about it, he tried so hard. He went on dates, had a couple of hook-ups, and flirted sometimes, but everything reminded him of Blaine. Most of the men had at least one of the same facial features as Blaine, if not more. Some had the same sense of humor, or personality, or they smelled like him, but everywhere he looked he saw a short, honey-eyed, tanned skin boy with a head full of hair gel.

_**"And for the tiniest moment it's all not true..."**_

There had been moments where Kurt thought he was dreaming. That this was all just a fantasy and he would wake up and be back on the steps that day at Dalton, or be sitting in the small chairs of the choir room at Mckinley with Blaine by his side, holding his hand or kissing his cheek. But it wasn't a dream. Blaine had actually cheated. He had actually stopped talking to Kurt. And they had actually lost each other.

_**"Do the things you always wanted to, without me there to hold you back, don't think just do..."**_

Kurt had eventually started to feel better. He had gotten a job promotion from Isabelle, dates became easier, he only rarely saw Blaine in the little things. He was starting to recover from what had been the worst year of his life. Isabelle promoted him from intern to idealist, where he sat at the table with the others and spat out ideas. Isabelle used one of his designed for a fall fashion in 2014, and he cought people's eyes. People asked for his designs, and offered him jobs, but he happily declined. He found himself a manager and began his own line. Quickly, he became one of the biggest A-listers in New York City.

_**"More than anything I want to see you go take a glorious bite out of the whole world..."**_

Kurt's life had been good, he forgot about Blaine and all his problems melted away. Eventually him and rachel moved into a bigger apartment, and Kurt started dating. He never really had a relationship or dated alot, maybe like 5 or 6 dates total, but he never had anything serious. There was always someting missing.

As Blaine stopped strumming the guitar everyone clapped, he spoke into the microphone, "Thank you. That was dedicated to a very special person, who changed my life in so many ways..." Was Blaine talking about him? Of course he was.

Kurt was thrown out of thought by the people behind him screaming and shouting to move up. Kurt looked ahead, oh! He was next in line. He quickly ordered his non-fat mocha, and Rachel's non-fat cinnamon dulche. He stepped to the side as he waited for the drinks to be done. Kurt retrieved both coffees, swiftly exting the coffee shop before Blaine could see him. He didn't wanna have to face him, not after all this time. What would he say? 'Hi Blaine I know the last thing I said to you was that I don't trust you but here have my heart on a platter'.

Kurt continued walking, picking up his pace just in case Blaine had seen him and was following him.

Kurt turned the corner before stopping and retrieving his vibrating phone from his pocket. He looked down at the caller I.D. that read 'Woman'. Rachel would just have to wait.

_**REVIEWS ARE HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!:D**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**okay, so sorry i didn't update this fic earlier but I've had absolutely horrible writers block for over 2 weeks now, and it's still kinda there. You guys said you wanted this to turn into a multichapter so it is now! I will try to update as much as possible but I am horrible at updating so...yea! here is chapter 2. I still kind of have block a little bit so sorry if this is choppy:) but ENJOY:D! (i hope)**_

Kurt woke up to the morning sounds of New York City outside of his Manhattan apartment. He blinked trying to unfog the haze of sleep covering his eyes, as he stretched his limbs. He rubbed his cold, pale hands up and down his face stretching out his nose and cheek muscles, which were tense from all the talking him and Rcahel had done from the night before. He slowly rose the upper half of his long, lean body to where he was sitting up. He pushed his comforter off of himself lazily reaching out to touch his toes to stretch the last little parts of his body.

Kurt, foot after foot, sluggishly started to rise off of his bed as he dragged himself over to the window, drawing open the blue metallic curtains, revealing the bright September sunlight. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the yellow ball in the sky, yawning before turning around to head out of his bedroom. Kurt folded his arms close to himself as if he was cold, but he wasn't. He walked into the kitchen before seeing an already brewed pot of coffee sitting in the coffee pot, with a note attached. Kurt stretched his arm, grabbing the note that his roomate had obviously left. Kurt read the little white piece if paper that read:

_Kurt, sweetie..._

_Went for a walk in Central Park_

_(I didn't wake you cause I knew you would_

_object t me going). I started feeling better so don't worry I'm fine._

_I think I might stop by Anthony's house for a little_

_while. I don't know but I'll be home soon._

_Just relax..._

_You need sometime to_

_yourself, anyways. So, enjoy it!_

_With love,_

_Your sweet beautiful angel:)_

Kurt's smile grew as he read the name he had called her the previous day. Wow, she really isn't letting it go.

Kurt glanced at the note once more before crumpling it up into a twisted crushed paper ball, throwing it into the trash. He turned to the full pot of coffee, he wasn't really in the mood for. Well, he was. Anytime is coffee time. But, he didn't want this coffee. He wanted Morning Joy coffee. He wanted coffee from Morning Joy, that's it. Who was he kidding? He just wanted to see Blaine again, he _really _wanted to see Blaine again.

Kurt didn't really wanna talk to him, he just wanted to stop by the coffee shop, quickly. Just get coffee and get out, no harm done. But maybe just maybe, he did want to talk to Blaine, see how he was, what is happening in his life, how he ended up here, if he was in a relationship...

Kurt opened the door to Morning Joy just in time to hear the last line of the song the curly haired boy,_ man,_ was singing.

_**"Come on, skinny love! My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my..."**_

Kurt hadn't realized he was he was staring, but when he did he tore his eyes away quickly because Blaine wasn't his to look at. Not anymore.

There was only two people in line this time, it was a Saturday, so thank god it wasn't to busy. He had gotten his regular non-fat mocha, with a creem cheese crossiant. He glanced around to see if he could see Blaine but he was no where. Kurt figured he had left, maybe he had seen Kurt and didn't want to talk and just left because he didn't even want to look at Kurt's face.

Kurt sat down at a minature round table three feet infront of him when he decided that it was safe because Blaine had disappeared. He glanced once again as he sat down in the slightly cold mahogany chair, no sign of Blaine. Kurt placed his crossiant and coffee on the circular table, he began tearing off pieces of his pastry eating them slowly, hoping it would slow down time.

Kurt took a quick drink of his coffee, just as the cup left his lips he heard his name, "K-Kurt...?" Kurt set his cup down, biting his lip and realeasing it as he turned around to see Blaine Anderson curly hair and all, two feet away from him. Blaine licked his lips, he started to say something again as his jaw dropped slighty, but it snapped shut just as quickly when he was afraid of what would come out.

Kurt just looked Blaine in his honey-hazel eyes, he had missed so much, "Blaine...Hi."

Blaine opened mouth again, but this time instead of shutting it, he ran.

Kurt watched the back of Blaine's body as he retreated the coffee shop with guitar and all. _Great. _Kurt thought. This is exactly what he was afraid would happen. Blaine didn't want to see him, didn't want to talk to him. Blaine was still upset, and just talking to Kurt would just upset his life even more and Kurt knew that.

Kurt sighed, his chest rising and falling as he turned around and gathered the half of his crossiant and three-quarters coffee remaining. He quickly walked towards the glass door, throwing away the pastry and coffee into the trash on his way. He stepped onto the pavement, pulling his dark coat closer to himself. He began to walk towards the direction of his manhattan apartment as he walked on the sidewalk flooded with New Yorkers.

He wasn't angry, he wasn't frusterated, he wasn't really hurt, he wasn't disappointed. What happened in the little corner coffee shop was what he had expected to happen.

Blaine didn't want him anymore.

Blaine didn't love him anymore.

Blaine was gone.

And Kurt knew it was because of him.

Kurt's eyes started to sting as tears filled his eyes, the cool summer New York drying the tears before they fall. He never realized how much he had missed Blaine. He never realized how much had missed the short curly haired boy, with the honey-hazel eyes, the red plump lips, the long eyelashes, the long skinny fingers.

His fingers, he missed those fingers. The same fingers that used to stretch him until he was sore. The same fingers that used to thread threw his light brown hair. The same fingers he had kissed so lightly when he felt like he wanted to be more connected to Blaine then they already were.

Kurt really missed him.

That didn't matter though. Blaine didn't feel the same way.

Kurt continued to walk home, ready to re-live that first night he had felt after he broke up with Blaine.

Blaine climbed the stairs to his miniture apartment, his guitar on his shoulder as the case slapped back and forth against his leg. He pulled out his house key from his pocket to unlock the door, he walked inside, smelling food from the kitchen. He set his guitar on the little love seat in the living room, and peeled his jacket off, hanging it on the coat rack.

He walked towards the kitchen, "Hey, I'm home," Blaine looked at his roomate, "late breakfast?" Blaine asked. Sam lifted his head from the stove where he was cooking an omlet, "Oh, hey man, yeah. I woke up a little late, I was out pretty late last night with Elizabeth."

Blaine sat on the stool behind the bar of their kitchen, he rested his head on his right hand, the left piching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Blaine sighed, sitting in silence as his mind drifted back to Kurt.

Sam noticed Blaine's frustration, "What's wrong? You look like you saw something you didn't want to see."

Blaine picked up his head and crossed his arms, pulling them close into himself, raising his shoulders, "I did."

Kurt pulled the pint sized chocolate ice cream from the freezer he had bought a couple days ago for movie night with Rachel on Friday, he figured he could get some more later. He pulled open the lid, disposing it in the tash, he grabbed a spoon from the utensil drawer, shoving it into the frozen chocolate ice.

He dragged his body towards the couch, grabbing the remote from the coffee table in front of him. He hit the power button on the remote as the television went from black to some ABC Family movie he had never seen before. He hit guide, scrolling threw the t.v. shows and movies, until he sees the perfect movie. _The Notebook, perfect._ He thinks. He presses select, it was only ten minutes in. He grabbed the spoon as he began to eat the ice cream as he watched Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams on his t.v.

An hour and forty minutes later, Rachel walks into the apartment to a snoring Kurt, whose face was red and puffy from tears, Rachel set her purse and house keys on the table, she quietly walked over to the brunette boy. She saw the half-eaten ice cream sitting on the table that was almost completely melted, she glanced up at the t.v. where Noah and Allie were kissing in the rain. She instantly knew.

Rachel placed her hand on Kurt's shoulder, "Sweetie, he wake up."

Kurt slowly glazed his eyes open to Rachel, her face was soft and nurturing, Kurt knew she knew.

Rachel rubbed her thumb softly on his shoulder, "You saw him didn't you?" She gave a soft smile, but not a happy one. Kurt sat up and wrapped his arm around his best friends neck. She wrapped her arms around his back, rubbing up and down patterns to soothe him. Kurt cried into his best friends shoulder.

He wished he had never gone into that coffee shop today.

He wished he had never seen Blaine again.

He wished he could go back and fix eveything that happened his first few months in New York.

He wished he could go back to March 2011.

He wished he could go back to October 2010.

But he can't.

So for now he just has to sit here, crying into Rachel Berry's shoulder, and wish.


	3. Chapter 3

_**So this is chapter 3 of this fic, which I really have no plot for what so ever so I'm just gonna see where the writing takes me!:) Uhm I'm not sure how many chapters I want yet but I'm trying not to keep the chapters too far apart cause like most of you I HATE waiting so I will try to update about every week or so, no promises though. Enjoy?**_

Blaine gulped down the last little puddle of coffee left in his mug, licking his lips and setting it in the sink. He wiped the back of his hand across his lips to erase any left over coffee on his upper lip. He raised the sleeve of his dark green jacket to reveal his watch, checking the time. 8:23. He figured Sam had stayed out late last night with Elizabeth, probably drinking at a bar or at some fancy resturaunt in downtown Manhattan. Blaine grabbed his guitar case that was sitting by the door, he slung the strap over his shoulder. He grabbed the door knob, opening the door and closing it behind him. Walking to the coffee shop, his mind wondered.

Maybe Kurt was there.

Maybe he'd actually talk to Blaine.

Maybe he would say something to Blaine.

Maybe Blaine's hands wouldn't get all clammy, making his throat dry and sore, his whole body burning like a raging fire, and cause him to open his mouth and nothing come out, and maybe his legs wouldn't take control this time causing him to run out of the coffee shop like a scared little boy.

Maybe he wouldn't be scared.

But why would he be? It's just Kurt. They used to talk so well. Although, that was long ago, before Eli. Before BLaine had ruined everything and caused his life to fall apart, leaving behind his future and the love of his life. Blaine cringed at the thought of Eli, as the memory came back to him. Imagining his hands pulling on the hem of Blaine's shirt, wishing they were Kurt's. Kissing Eli, hard and messy with no real meaning in it.

Kurt had never kissed him like that. Everytime Blaine kissed Kurt or vice versa, there was always meaing. It always meant something, whether it was a kiss of just pure want or pure love. Every slide of lips, every slip of tongue meant something.

Not just the kisses, though, every touch. Everytime Kurt would whispered into Blaine's ear there was a light touch of his lips on Blaine's earlobe, or everytime they signaled each other they wanted to have sex, there would be pulling of shirts. There were hand holds, and ankles brushing. The sliding of legs, or the way their bodies were flush together, everything had a meaning.

Blaine walked into Morning Joy, "June! I'm here, " he said, trying to get the barista's attention. She covered the bottom part of the phone she was speaking into to muffle the talking, "God damnit, Anderson! You were suppose to be here fifteen minutes ago!" Blaine walked over to the counter, "I know. I know, I'm sorry, " he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "Am I forgiven?" June blushed, her high cheekbones turning a light shade of pink. "Yes! Now get your cute little tush up there and sing! I have waiting customers." She shooed him away going straight back to talking on the phone. Blaine gave her a small smile and a wink before turning around and heading to the stage. June was his only real friend he had made in New York in the couple of years he'd been here. Most people misjudged her due to her dark brown curly hair, nose piercing, and the tattoos that covered her neck and wrists. There was always Sam but he'd known Sam since high school, he didn't really count.

Blaine pulled the black leather and silver steel stool close to the microphone, sitting down with his guitar slighty resting in his lap. He placed the guitar upright in his hands, his right hand straighting out the microphone. He spoke, "This is a song done by an amazing artist, and I'm sure most of you know this, so...enjoy." Blaine started to strum a few notes, and began to sing...

_**I think that possibly, maybe, I'm falling for you...**_

_**Yes, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you...**_

Blaine looks around the coffee shop at all the people staring at him. He remembers when he first sang this song in front of people. It was his first week in New York, and he sang it about Kurt. How their story was partially set in the Lima Bean. They had a story of how they got together, how they stayed together, how they were together, but not anymore. There is no story now, just stowed away memories and broken hearts.

_**I've seen the paths thet your eyes wonder down, I wanna come too...**_

_**I think that possibly, maybe, I'm fallen for you...**_

He strums a few more notes, remembering when he had performed this song to Kurt. They were in Kurt's old bedroom in the Hummel-Hudson house, with the door closed. Blaine had told him, "This song represants us." Of course, right next to Teenage Dream, this was their song. This was a song about how two people saw each other and slowly fell in love in a miniature coffee shop, where days pass and no feelings exchanged, just glances and hints that no one really mentions. Blaine thought of him and Kurt the first time he heard this song but, that was the old Kurt and Blaine, and now they're just...people.

_**No one understands me quite like you do,**_

_**through all of the shadowy corners of me...**_

No one understood Blaine more than Kurt did. Whether it was a good or bad day, Kurt always listened, _really _listened and he always cared. He never pretended or faked around Blaine, he was always honest and always accepted Blaine for his more-excited-than-I-should-be moods, or his fuck-you-fuck-this-fuck-everything moods. Kurt was always there and always understanding, never impatient, unkind, or hurtful. He was always just _there._

_**I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much all of the while I never knew...**_

_**I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much all of the while I never knew...**_

After the split Blaine would occasionally find himself driving home after school and ending up at the Lima Bean. On some days, he would just sit in the parking lot and cry. He would look at the door picturing them holding hands together as they walk inside, like they used too, or Blaine's hand touching the small of Kurt's lower back to guide him infront of him towards the coffee shop. Then he would remember that he can't do those things anymore, that he screwed up the one and only good thing in his life. He screwed around with Kurt's heart and his mind wouldn't let him forget that.

Blaine looks over to June as she stares back, knowing that something is messing with Blaine's head. He cuts the song short, not really having the energy or emotion to continue. He strums the last note, then speaks into the microphone after people clap, "Thank you. I'm gonna take a little break, then return."

Blaine sets his guitar on the stand that the shop provides for performers, and slowly lifts his body up from the stool, he steps down from the stage. June looks at him worried, he gives her a reassuring smile and swiflty slips into the mens room before people can see the tears on his face.

Kurt glidded his colored pencil accross the paper, he bit his lip in frustration. He'd been trying for the past hour to come up with a new design for the fall line. It was September and he needed a sketch soon or the line wouldn't pick up, and he needed the line to be picked up. He was known way to well in the fashion industry as an amazing designer and he couldn't let his reputation slip out of his hands just like that.

He rips the half-drawn-on piece of paper from his notepad throwing it to the trash bin three feet away from him, missing it by an inch. He slams his head against his arm on the table infront of him muffling his voice, "Loni!" Kurt yelled for his intern. After a momnent of hearing nothing, he lifted his head with his eyes closed and shouted again, "Loni!" Kurt sighed dropping his head into his arm again as he rolled his closed eyes. He heard little pats of heels on the ground enter the room, "Yes, Mr. Hummel?" Kurt spoke again, his voice still muffled, "Loni, how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Kurt. No one in my family is Mr. Hummel and I will not be the first."

"O-okay, Kurt. What can i do for you?"

"Uhm..." Kurt lifted his head to see her fully. She is a small asian woman with short light brown hair, her designer glasses thin on her face. She dressed decent, that was partly the reason Kurt hired her, you can't work at a fashion industry and not dress like it.

"Uhm..." Kurt repeated, he rubbed his eyes. "Can you get me coffee or something? I'm exhausted."

"Yes, but the coffee pot in the break room is broken, I can go somewhere and get it."

"Yeah, just uh...Just go to Morning Joy. Non-fat mocha, please."

Loni nodded and walked backwards out of the office, careful not to trip on the rug. Kurt sank his head back into his arm, burring his nose into the crook of his elbow. He didn't know why people acted so wierd around him, it's not like he's mean to his employee's or anything. He sometimes hated being the big boss of everything. Though, don't get him wrong, he loved the control, but everyone would cringe when he passed by them or stiffen up like a board in order to impress him. Kurt knew what he was getting into when he got into fashion, he knew this industry was all about drama and impressions and trying to be better than everyone else around you, and do whatever to get whatever.

Kurt tried to let his mind wonder, as he slowly slipped into sleep right at his table.

Kurt slid into his apartment quietly, trying not to wake Rachel. He walked over to the glass coffee table, setting down his messenger bag he's had since high school and the third coffee he's had from Morning Joy, today. He looked across the table to see the left over ice cream carton from the night before, he grabbed the carton and spoon, discarding the carton into the trash can and the spoon into the sink. He looked towards the clock on the wall, 1:36. Jesus, did he really stay at the office past midnight?

He saw something on the counter out of the corner of his eye, he shifted so he could grab the thin paper that was sitting there.

_Kurt,_

_I'm out again. I'll be home by midnight._

_Hopefully, you'll get home after I do, cause I hate when you're alone._

_Anyways, I shouldn't be out long._

_Love you, Rachel._

'I'll be home by midnight' my ass.

Kurt crushed the paper into a ball, leaving it on the counter to be thrown away later. He walked back over to the coffee table to finish the little bit of coffee that was actually left in the cup. He chugged down the last couple gulps, breathing out an 'ahh' as he took it from his mouth. He was on his way back to the trash can to discard it, looking at the cup before he noticed something. Turning the cup slightly, Kurt admired the little writing of numbers on the coffee cup, he read them quietly to himself, 212-451-5558...

He grabbed his phone from his pocket, quickly texting Loni. It couldn't be Loni's number he already had her number, and why would she put it on the cup in the first place.

Kurt:

Why are there random numbers on my coffee cup?

Loni:

There was a man at the coffee shop, that I ran into and we started to talk, I told him I worked for you and he said he wanted to give you his number and that you knew who he was.

Kurt:

Loni...

Loni:

Sir...?

Kurt:

Did your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?

Loni:

I'm sorry, ...It won't happen again.

Kurt:

Oh my god, Loni. I'm Kurt. Call me Kurt, and it's fine. Just don't let people write on my coffee cups again.

Loni:

Okay, Kurt.

Kurt:

Goodnight, Loni.

Loni:

Goodnight, boss.

Kurt sighed, at Loni's last text. Well, at least it's better than 'Mr. Hummel'. Kurt ran his hands through hair, he walked to his room setting the empty cup and his phone on his bedside table. He changed into his Calvin Klein sweat pants and his regular black tank top, slipping sluggishly into bed. Kurt eyes started to glaze over, he reached across himself to grab his phone and the coffee cup. He unlocked his phone and scrolled over on the screen to open up the dial pad. He typed in the numbers 212...451...5558...

He pressed the 'Send Text Message' button.

Kurt:

So, there is this number on my coffee cup. Toying with my intern i see? Who are you, stranger?

Kurt looked at the ceiling trying to imagine who it would be, his mind drifted off, thinking about the impossibilities of who it could be. He thought back to who he had seen at Morning Joy in the past couple of days. He saw Blaine, but that was it. There was no way it was Blaine, though. He didn't want to talk to Kurt, he didn't even want to look at him, so why would he give his number to Kurt's intern. It's not possible.

His phone vibrated.

212-451-5558:

Hi Kurt.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, getting annoyed. Why did the stranger not answer his question, Kurt just wants to know who this is. Hopefully, not a serial killer.

Kurt:

Uhm, hi? Who is this?

Now he knows it definately wasn't Blaine cause Blaine would've answered the question then and there. It wasn't Blaine cause Blaine didn't wanna text Kurt. It wasn't Blaine cause Blaine was angry at Kurt, cause he abandoned him. He shouldn't have abandoned him, they both knew what Blaine did was bad but he didn't deserve to be abandoned. He didn't deserve to be ignored to be left alone. It wasn't Blaine cause Kurt left him and never even looked back. It wasn't Blaine.

Kurt's phone buzzed again.

212-451-5558:

It's Blaine.

Kurt's jaw dropped to his chest and whispered, "Well I'll be damned."

_**Whew! Chapter 3 is done, been workin on that sucker for about a week now. I would like to give credit to my bffl, Elizabeth for helping me choose the song in this chapter check her out at .com she is the shit. My tumblr is .com **_

_**REVIEWS ARE LOVELY AND HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!:D**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Make sure to follow me on tumblr, bowtiekiss. I will also be posting the story there. Uhm, this chapter is a little bit more angsty than the others, and has mentions of suicidal thoughts and depression. This fic is really turning out way differently than i intended, i was gonna make Blaine have a boyfriend, but I figured there are too many fics like that, and this is starting to turn into a song fic which i did not intend AT ALL! But I kinda like it. Enjoy?:D**_

Kurt didn't text back that night, he actually didn't text back for days. He didn't know what to say. There was this urge that would provoke his hand to reach towards his phone, and then when the key board layed out he had no idea what to say. His mind would empty out every thought in his head. So he, of course, just layed his phone back down and stared at the ceiling.

Rachel would always comment, of course, about how he shouldn't be scared cuase it "just Blaine". But that was that was the problem, wasn't it? That is was "just Blaine", except it wasn't. Things were much more complicated now, and things had been done between that couldn't be undone. No matter how much Kurt tried.

Kurt was walking down the streets of Manhattan, careful not to drag his Alexander McQueen boots on the ground. He had to go into work a little early today because he still had sketches he needed to finish. He slowed his pace when he saw Starbucks come into view, he looked through the glass to see that the construction they were doing was done. He stretched his glove hand out to grab the handle, before retrieving before he opened it. He didn't want to go to Starbucks, he wanted Morning Joy.

Kurt walked the few blocks to get to Morning Joy, almost hoping that Blaine was there. He wanted to talk to Blaine, he did, but whenever he tried to talk over texts his mind went blank. Kurt walked through the glass door that led into the coffee shop. As soon as he did he heard what he had expected, the sound of Blaine's voice singing.

_**I swam across I jumped across for you**_

_**Oh, what a thing to do cause we were all yellow**_

_**I drew a line I drew a line for you**_

_**Oh, what a thing to do and it was all yellow**_

Kurt walked in the line, trying to make sure Blaine wasn't looking at him, not looking to see if he was because of the slight chance of eye contact. Kurt got his coffee quickly and sat down at the table he usually sits at in the back, he figured he could wait a little until he went to work. Kurt drank his coffee and just listened to Blaine with the few New Yorkers that were actally sitting.

_**Your skin, oh your skin and bones**_

_**Turn in to something beautiful**_

_**Tonight, for you I bleed myself child**_

_**For you I bleed myself child**_

_**It's true**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**Look how they shine**_

_**Look at the stars**_

_**Look how they shine for you**_

_**And everythnig you do**_

Kurt eyes were glued on Blaine as he listened to him sing the last notem he clapped with the little audience formed arond him. Blaine spoke into the microphone, "Uhm, I'm gonna take a break, I'll be back." Kurt quickly tore his eyes back down to his hands as he saw Blaine step the stage. Kurt rubbed his thumbs together, he exhalled deeply as he stared at his coffee cup. He knew he shouldn't have come here his heart was starting to hurt and he hated that feeling. He grabed his coffee, gulping it down and standing to throw it away but was stopped from standing by the someones hand on his shoulder, "Don't go," Kurt heard behind hi as he turned to see Blaine standing there with a soft smile on his face.

Kurt scooted back fully into his chair, he nodded his head as Blaine removed his hand from Kurt's shoulder. Blaine looked at the chair across from Kurt "May I?" He asked. Kurt nodded again, that's all he felt like he could do at the moment.

Blaine sat in the chair across from Kurt, hands shaking from his nerves. Kurt rubbed his thumb over the side of his coffee, the liquid inside warming up his fingers. His eyes flickered up to Blaine, "So," he said trying to ease the tention. "So," Blaine replied, except continuing his sentence, "How's life?" Kurt chuckeld at that. His lips held a slight smile as he spoke again,"Good actually, I've got my own clothing line," Kurt said, wondering if he had revieled to much. Blaine's lips twitched up at the realisation of Kurt's success, "Wow, that's...that's really amazing," Blaine said with a light shiver in his voice. "Do you make baby clothes, adult clothes or-"

"Clothes for teenage boys," Kurt had cut in, "and men. It was always difficult for me to find clothes that had the same styles because they were all made by different designers and not all of them were the same styles or even men clothes." Kurt swallowed, "So, I make clothes for the average _fashionable _man, and i do make some dresses for women but my main work is men clothes." Kurt added. Blaine's eyes set on his, he blinked away before he stared to long. God, why was it so hard to talk to him.

Kurt exhaled, "I can't sit here and pretend that there isn't anything wierd between us," Kurt spoke out. Blaine gulped, "Kurt dont-"

"Don't what? Say what needs to be said? Speak the truth? Do the mature thing? Cause last time I checked I wasn't the one who had problems with any of those things." Kurt regretted it as soon as he said it, but it needed to be said. Blaine's mouth gaped open at the mention of the past, "Kurt," Blaine began, "You can't just walk in here and getting made at me for something that happened almost six years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry I never got over the face that the love of my life cheated on me and I was never able to date again," _Shit_. Kurt did not want to tell him that. It made him seem pathetic and desperate, like he had been waiting all this time for Blaine to appear.

Blaine didn't respond he was stunned by Kurt's words. Had Kurt never really gotten over it? He hadn't either but he had dated or at least had a boyfriend. Blaine looked at him, "Y- you haven't dated anyone?" Blaine asked knowing he might not get a response.

"I mean I've been on like five or six but no, I haven't had a boyfriend. I haven't had time and even when I did go on dates, something always reminded me of you," Kurt admitted. He really needed to stop talking before he told Blaine about everything, and before he said he was leaving Blaine said something that changed his mind immediately, "I almost died, ya know." Blaine said, like now was confession time and Kurt was the priest. Kurt's grip on his coffee tightened, "B- Blaine-"

"I thought you moved on. You never returned my calls, you never said anything to me. I figured you found someone new, and it hurt. It to know that I wasn't the one making you smile anymore that I was the one who cause you pain, and I was the reason you weren't talking to me." Blaine's eyes started to sting, "I was diagnosed with depression a couple months after it happened. It's like I would go to school but talk to no one, I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed and try to trace any smell of you that was left. I would curl up with Margaret Thatcher dog and just smell her sometimes, thinking about that one day when you surprised at my locker and recovered my relationship with Cooper and then we talked on the phone for hours after. There was no color in the world. Flowers didn't smell the same, food didn't taste the same, glee club wasn't the same, everything changed. After a while i figured what was the point in living, I wanted to die. I figured it's be easier for y-"

"Stop," Kurt interrupted. "Don't you ever think that. You being dead would not have made anything easier for me."

Blaine gave a soft nod.

Kurt looked at the clock on the wall, "Look, I've gotta get to work but I have your number. We'll talk more tonight?"

Blaine smiled, "Okay." And with that Kurt took his coffee and left to go to work. Blaine sat at the table smiling at the thought of him and Kurt actually talking again, today didn't count because these were just things and feeling that had been built up over the years. But soon he felt like Kurt and hi could be friends again. Best friends.

_**Okay so this chapter was really short and i didn't edit at all but I have been going through some stuff and haven't really had time for writing and it's just been a hectic couple of weeks. Chapter 5 will be MUCH longer! I'm sorry it's so short:(**_

_**REVIEWS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED AND RECOMMENDED:D!**_


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